Does the Guardian work for an Octopus God?

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Okay, panic over. It turns out that rumours of Martian tripods returning to earth and confusing our!women! with wind turbines have been exaggerated. It transpires that it was, in fact, a combination of metal fatigue and what sounds like a rather unspectacular fireworks display put on the family of Guardian journalist Emily Bell.

Fair enough. Mystery solved. But what the hell is the guy going on about in the first paragraph?

“It was huge,” John Harrison, a farmer from Saltfleetby, said yesterday of the light display he saw in the Lincolnshire sky on Saturday night. “At first I thought it must have been a hole where the moon was shining through, but then I saw the tentacles. It looked just like an octopus.”

I suspect John Harrison has been at the rarebits again. Nevertheless, that description does sound familiar. And then it hit me: this is almost exactly what happens at the end of the first Hellboy film.

Somehow I doubt the Great Old Ones are particularly interested in wind energy, but maybe that’s what the Guardian wants us to think.

4 thoughts on “Does the Guardian work for an Octopus God?

  1. A curiosity of UFO sightings is how they became popular only after all the aliens-attack B-movies of the 1950s.

    No-one really noticed Roswell at the time. It was a decade or two later, with alien invaders on every cinema screen, that most of the “witnesses” first came forwards.

    That people seriously think that, if anything like this hasn’t been explained in the first ten minutes, a UFO is the most plausible explanation, is a testament to the power of Hollywood in affecting not only our explanations but the way our brains interpret ambiguous sights and sounds.

    Before the 1950s, I’m sure people would not only have interpreted these sorts of happenings as supernatural, but would have “seen” angels, devils and spirits.

  2. I’m more worried by the “cow-sized piece of ice falling from a passing plane”.

    I am pleased that the cow has joined Wales as an international unit of measurement.

  3. There’s actually a whole continuum, starting with cow, then moving up to double decker bus, then football pitch. I’m frankly surprised the Mail hasn’t run a campaign to stop trying to stop greengrocers from selling fruit and veg using such “traditional” measurements.

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