Tag Archives: swivel-eyed-loons

The Column Purpose

Dedicated readers may have noticed some feathers being ruffled in the comments sections of my articles on the UK Column and Common Purpose. My favourite is a link to a video of a lecture given by Brian Gerrish. If you have two hours of your life going spare, check it out. My favourite part is his claim that he has had sight of a secret document on the Common Purpose website which is all about “how to take control of a city”. Damning stuff, but apparently he couldn’t download it because that would leave a “footprint”. In which case, if he couldn’t download it, how did he manage to read it?

Gerrish’s style is fascinating. He seems to excel at lulling his audience into submission by showing them slide after slide after slide of completely dull emails and other papers and ask innuendo laden questions about them. Do that once and it is pretty meaningless but repeat the process and it can be bloody effective. You have to take a step back to realise that he’s just taken 1+1+1+1+1+1+1 and come up with pi. Given that he insists that the common practice of taking questions in public meetings in groups of three is a Delphic mind control technique one is compelled to ask: what mind control techniques did he pick up of his own during his time in the military?

There is also a recurring thread in all this about Demos and the IPPR being Communist organisations. Communist? As think tanks go they are about as work-for-hire and cravenly capitalist as you are likely to find (no offense, like). Demos’ latest work with Charles Leadbetter about direct budgeting in the health service is about as close to dismantling the Stalinistic tendencies of that great British institution you are likely to find short of privatisation.

I also enjoy all this “Common Purpose = CP = Communist Party” stuff. This from a newspaper which used to call itself the Plymouth (and Devonport) Column. PC sounds very similar to CP if you ask me. And what about Column? Sounds a bit like both “Common” and “Communist” to me. I think we should be told.

Following all this as I have been over the past few months I’ve been fascinated by this split between Brian Gerrish and David Noakes. There was some kerfuffle a few months ago when one faction refused to distribute the other factions newspaper. It now emerges they have formalised their split, with Noakes publishing the Westminster News (and retrospectively going back and changing all the old Columns so they have the new masthead – nothing wrong with a bit of Stalinistic airbrushing of history is there?) while Gerrish is now publishing the Column with the help of the New Battle of Britain group.

Their latest effort is now available to read online. This issue they have chosen to take to task the “quisling” Daily Mail for running a campaign on plastic bags when it should have been dedicating all its pages to covering the IWAR demonstration at which a couple of old soldiers and a dog turned up (that’s me being all figurative and sarcastic folks – did you see what I did there? Whichever way you spin it 3,000 people turning up to a national demo is a fucking disaster). They also seem to be getting very into divine revelation. Given their apocalyptic visions of the EU, don’t be surprised if they don’t all end up chugging the Kool Aid in some abandoned farm in the middle of nowhere at some point.

Gerrish = Koresh – it’s all linked, see?

What do the Lisbon Treaty, colonic irrigation, psychic locksmiths and “Vogue Escorts” massage parlour have in common?

Another month, another name change. The British Free Press, formerly the UK Column, formerly the Plymouth and Devonport Column, has now become The Westminster News (pdf). Yes, it’s back, and this time it’s fatter than a Sandra in a sponsored fat suit. The reason for all this padding is that it has lots of adverts from a range of sources, some less mental than others. Indeed, there is so much padding, that it appears David Noakes has forgotten to give us his usual quota of nutty-bonkersness. It still contains some highlights however, and some of the adverts themselves are rather revealing:

Front page: “Ten thousand Whitehall jobs to go” – yay! Oh wait, that’s meant to be a bad thing. Boo! Parliament to be abolished on 5 May 2010. MPs to go along with this because “they have been groomed for this purpose, chosen by the Party list system over the last 20 years to ensure an obedient majority of pro-EU MPs.” Our MPs are elected using the list system? No-one tells me anything! But then, if they did, what would be the point of the Westminster News?

Page 2: The health page. Article about St George’s Cross being Cornish juxtaposed by adverts for enemas and colonic irrigation. I’m sure we aren’t supposed to draw any inferences from that. Moving on…

Page 3: Apparently Northern Rock was bailed out by the US of A. Good old Uncle Sam! A new Marshall Plan, eh? Oh, wait. That’s meant to be a bad thing too. Boo! Adverts on ethical t-shirts, spectacles, a cattery and a dance school.

Page 5: Constitution and politics. Or, to be more precise, recycling in Westminster Council. Meanwhile, in a continuation from page one, it is revealed that Francis Maude, Jacqui Smith, Ken
Clarke, Douglas Hurd, Malcolm Rifkind and Tim Yeo “might” be members of German intelligence. Or they might not. We won’t know until after their deaths. Bum.

Page 6: A one page guide to the Constitution and its remarkable similarities to Adolf Hitler’s 1933 Enabling Act. It’s says so here so it must be true.

Page 7: Adverts for caligraphy, swimming with dolphins, a solicitors, a travel agency and a hypnotherapist promising to help you quit smoking in time for when the ban starts on 1 July (um…). Meanwhile it emerges that MPs will suffer the most when Parliament is abolished (those who aren’t members of German intelligence anyway) and that it will take decades to fill the soon to by emptied Whitehall with new residents.

Page 8-9: Lots of property to buy in Ireland. Yay! The mighty Irish, descendents of the Tuatha de Dannan – who are really Israelites – are bound to reject the evil constitution in their lovely referendum aren’t they? They’ve got a magic stone and everything!

Page 11: Classifieds. The locksmiths section includes adverts for a clairvoyants and an astrologer. Not quite sure how these powers open my front door, but I’m sure all shall be revealed.

Page 14: Escort agencies juxtaposed with composting (“Give a green gift for Christmas” – always good to plan early).

Logical fallacies and euroscepticism

For the millionth time I’ve read this reported as fact:

The new Lisbon Treaty is largely the same as the defeated constitution…

So, for all those hard of thinking journalists out there and everyone else for that matter who seems to misunderstand it, I thought I’d draw you a handy diagram:
EU treaty diagram
You can say that the addition of Lisbon means that the combined treaties are roughly equivalent to the stalled constitutional treaty. You cannot say that Lisbon itself is roughly equivalent to the stalled constitutional treaty. To claim otherwise it to be a fool.

Let’s put it another way: an iced cake with “Happy Birthday” written on it is roughly the same thing as an iced cake with “Happy Christmas” written on it. If you claimed that the icing itself was more or less the same thing as the whole cake, you could reasonably expect to be put into a rubber room.

I know this is the height of pedantry, but it is an important distinction and anyone who contests it loses the moral right to call other people “dishonest”.

What I find most amazing about all this is the way the Eurosceptics have, in effect, ceded the argument over all the other treaties which, in the past, they insisted (with the same level of shoutiness as now) were about to “abolish” Britain. Equally amazing is the fact that, four years ago there was a real opportunity to effectively renegotiate those past treaties via the constitutional process. The shadowy forces behind iwantareferendum and the combined Murdoch, Rothermere and (then) Black press could have insisted on a public debate and a more open process from the government. They did no such thing. Even if you agree that treaties like this should be ratified by referendum – as I do – don’t for a second kid yourself that these people have our best interests at heart.

Block reform to get reform

I want a referendum screen shotWhat annoys me most about IWantAReferendum.com is it’s completely anti-intellectual stance and the way it presents the Lisbon Treaty as the most significant EU treaty in terms of pooling sovereignty in history. Whether you are pro or anti a referendum, that is clearly nonsense.

But I’ve banged on about the nonsense of all this in the past. What tickled me today was discovering this fantastic quote from Aromatherapist Michelle:

The EU isn’t working. We need a vote for force politicians to reform it.

I don’t know what she keeps in her aromatherapy bottles, but it must be something mind altering. Because what she has added her name to is a campaign to NOT reform the EU.

There’s an interesting debate to be had over whether Lisbon is a step forward or backwards for EU democracy. One thing I’ve noticed is that aside from muttering darkly and incoherently about loss of sovereignty and “self reforming treaties”, the Euro-sceptics appear to avoid this debate like the plague. I recommend you pop over to Unlock Democracy and read their guide. Agree with it or not, at least it is an argument about the Treaty itself rather than the staid debate over a referendum.

The New Battle for Britain are SPLITTERS!

Horrors! The latest issue of Quaequam Blog!’s favourite anti-EU conspiracy rag is in danger of getting pulped. UK Column editor David Noakes explains why:

However The New Battle for Britain Group, under the pretext of using a cheaper courier, sent a lorry to collect 87,000 copies and now tell me they have put them in a warehouse in Birmingham. In another few days the whole lorry load (3 tons) will have to be pulped as out of date, which seems to be their intention.

The Reform Treaty is going though Parliament now. We could have got January and February editions out throughout Britain, urging people to visit their MP in his surgery and vote against the Reform Treaty. With two editions, 200,000 copies, we might have changed the minds of the 70 MPs we need. Now it will be a miracle if we get one edition out.

From my home in Falmouth I produced the Plymouth and Devomport Column, the Cornish Free Press, the UK Column and the British Free Press. It takes a solid month as editor, production, typesetting, writing 90% of the articles, sending it to the printer for each issue. With today’s technology it is a one man operation. Each month I donate my efforts, and the newspapers, to the anti-EU cause and to you, the readers.

The NBFBG’s contribution has been to field the phone calls, and act as trustee for the many donations the paper receives; they also owe a duty of care for my month’s time and effort.

I say to the NBFBG: please deliver the paper now, before you compromise your legal position as trustee. And I ask you our supporters, to phone them up on 01752 312743 and ask them to release and deliver the paper.

David Noakes. 07974 437 097

The probable cause is: On Sunday 5th January Brian Gerrish of the NBFBG agreed in a meeting at the Novotel to back the original name, the British Free Press, the name first chosen, as Brian’s “Column” name (military connotations etc.) was causing too many people to bin the paper without reading it. During that following week he changed his mind. But it should not be about Brian Gerrish. It is about getting out of the EU dictatorship.

It’s quite clear, to me at least, that the NBFBG have been infiltrated by Common Purpose. This is a sinister plot to ensure that the EU Police State is ushered in with no debate whatsoever!

Fortunately, the latest issue, now called the British Free Press (formerly the UK Column, formerly the Plymouth and Devonport Column) is available online (pdf). If it you can discover that:

  • The recent scandal over social services taking children into care is a Nazi / EU plot.
  • The BBC has been infiltrated by Common Purpose and is part of a Nazi / EU plot.
  • The adoption of the Reform Treaty will usher in the End Times predicted by the Book of Revelation.
  • The Academy Schools programme is a secret way to give paedophiles access to our children as part of a Nazi / EU plot.
  • The Evangelical Alpha Course, run by the son of German Jews, is part of a Nazi / EU plot.
  • The Queen is a “New Age Fabian” who misrepresented Christ in her Christmas broadcast.
  • The recent stock exchange crash is part of a Nazi / EU plot.
  • The Guardian and Lib Dem support for scrapping ID cards is part of a Nazi / EU plot because we’ll all have to have EU ID cards anyway.
  • All elections to local government have been abolished by our EU overlords.
  • Craig Venter is planning to take over our minds with his artificial life jiggery-pokery (possibly as part of a Nazi / EU plot – it isn’t clear).
  • Immigration is part of a Nazi / EU plot.
  • UKIP is part of a Nazi / EU plot.
  • Gordon Brown is part of a Nazi / EU plot.
  • The Justice system is part of a Nazi / EU plot.
  • Uniquely among MPs, Tory Mark Field is NOT part of a Nazi / EU plot.
  • Oh, and the “proper” UK flag is a red cross on a white background, because it is the one used by the King of Cornwall who got it off Joseph of Arimathea.

Spread the word!

Bums and Willies! Now that I’ve got your attention…

Two MPs have recently been turning the controversy surrounding their decision to insult their opponents as a way of progressing their agenda.

Daniel Hannan, an MEP who has achieved the remarkable distinction of managing to look even younger than his clearly low mental age, has implicitly compared one of his German colleagues to a Nazi and in the process used the publicity as a soapbox to advance the cause of swivel eyed lunacy:

I would almost be tempted to compare it to the Ermächtigungsgesetz law of 1933 but I think that would be disproportionate and perhaps a little rude to our president, who is a committed democrat and a decent man.

I have to say I would almost be tempted to call Young Master Hannan a shameless little cunt and a chinless wonder to boot, but I think that would be disproportionate and perhaps a little rude to someone who I am sure it nice to small animals and is kind to his mother (I could get to enjoy this). I’d call it a cunning stunt, but I’ve used that gag for someone else.

Meanwhile, our own Greg Mulholland has done effectively the same thing. I suspect his decision to call Ivan Lewis an “arsehole” (or as Jonny Wright has suggested elsewhere, possibly an aardvark – Hansard is rather vague on this point) was rather less calculated, but nonetheless he has managed to propel an otherwise forgotten debate about the hospice movement onto the news pages. Was Greg listening to Hannan on the Today Programme this morning and calculating that it he was onto a potentially good thing? Either way, it worked.

In fact, it is hard to deny that Greg is coming out of this better than Lewis, who does indeed come out of this incident sounding like a pompous arse:

“I hope Mr Mulholland will reflect on the fact that the use of such language is not only inappropriate but sends out a terrible message to young people about the importance of decency and civility.

“This is now a matter for the Liberal Democratic leadership.”

I’m sure Greg is quaking in his boots. The line about young people particularly made me laugh. If Labour ministers seriously believe that the only place where “young people” might get exposed to such mild swear words is by diligently reading Hansard or watching BBC Parliament, they truly are hopelessly out of touch.

To be sure, there is a real place for using restrained language in Parliamentary debates. The formality often in my view ensures that debates don’t get blown off course by ad hominem. But there’s also a place for raw emotion in politics and that is what Greg is guilty of here. Superficially, Mulholland and Hannan are guilty of the same thing here; scratch beneath the surface and they couldn’t be further apart.

The UK Column is back!

Cover to UK Column, December 2007The latest copy of the UK Column arrives. Yay! I first came across this august publication at the Conservative Party Conference and I’m delighted to say this one is even nuttier than the last.

No time to write about it in detail now; read it all yourself by going to their website. Suffice to say my favourite article is their long exposition “proving” that the British are the true Israelites. This is argued on the basis that the Celts have legends about the Tuatha Dé Danann and that one of the Twelve Tribes of Israel was lead by Dan. The fact that “Danann” refers to the Earth Goddess (Diana?) seems to have passed them by completely. Apparently the Saxons were Israelites too. And the Normans… just go and read it already.

They’re asking for volunteers to help with distribution. I’m tempted to offer purely on the basis that this is the best way of making Eurosceptics look silly I can think of. Maybe it’s part of a sinister conspiracy.

UPDATE: Oh, forgot my other favourite bit. Apparently all the fringe meetings at Tory conference were chaired by women using “Delphi techniques to control meetings.” This is apparently a rather pretentious and sinister sounding way of saying they tended to take questions in groups of three. This, it would appear, was all co-ordinated. I must ask the gf about it (as she chaired one of the meetings which is specifically mentioned).

Common Purpose – the new Bilderberg?

Over the past few months I’ve become increasingly aware of the fact that a lot of conspiracy theories these days seem to revolve around an organisation called Common Purpose. Not a secret organisation, Common Purpose aims to “give leaders the skills, the connections and the vision they need to lead more effectively”.

It’s a training organisation. But it’s also a networking organisation and that’s where the wilder theories come in. My old friends EU truth seem to be doing a lot of the running here (their site is certainly the second Google hit, which suggests that David “EU plant” Cameron’s mates at Google UK aren’t doing their jobs properly). They have a pdf you can download and some stuff on YouTube. It all, um, seems a bit vague:

So my question to you dear reader is this: where’s the beef? If you have some strong evidence to prove that Common Purpose is indeed a “criminal organisation” let’s have it. I’m fascinated.

(The thing I realised from reading Them by Jon Ronson a couple of years ago is that the truth is often not what the loons think it is but is fascinating nonetheless).

Anti-choice Tories attack freedom of information

You’ve got to laugh. Ben Goldacre writes:

In the case of this Minority Report on abortion, it’s a rollercoaster ride of pseudoscience and dubious data, signed by one Tory MP with the support of one other, and I highly recommend giving it a read. I’ve posted the PDF here, until it appears on the parliament website.

If you want a good example of how spectacularly weak the evidence behind this “Minority Report” is, then you need look no further than the bit where they talk about, er, well, me, bafflingly.

What Dorries and Spink are complaining about is that Goldacre used publicly accessible evidence to attack the credibility of vacillating “expert” Professor John Wyatt. In his Guardian column on Saturday. Parliament operating policies of openness and transparency? Outrageous!