I don’t just make this stuff up, you know:
THE floods which claimed seven lives and deluged thousands of homes were the result of â€œmoral degradationâ€, claims the Bishop of Carlisle.
The bishop, who is a leading evangelical, said that people should heed the stories of the Bible, which described the downfall of the Roman Empire as a result of its immorality.
â€œWe are in serious moral trouble because every type of lifestyle is now regarded as legitimate,â€ he said.
â€œIn the Bible, institutional power is referred to as â€™the beastâ€™, which sets itself up to control people and their morals. Our government has been playing the role of God in saying that people are free to act as they want.â€
The bishop also alleged that the introduction of recent pro-gay laws highlighted its determination to undermine marriage.
He said: â€œThe sexual orientation regulations (which give greater rights to gays) are part of a general scene of permissiveness.
â€œWe are in a situation where we are liable for Godâ€™s judgment, which is intended to call us to repentance.â€
More in the Mail.
This can only mean that Sheffield is a den of vice, while us Londoners are morally virtuous in comparison.
Makes me wonder who all those people on the tube waving inflatables around were on Saturday evening. Maybe they were a new prayer group.
Seriously though. The weather was great last year – it must be a judgement from God. Whatever you were doing last year, do that. Or develop and interest in watersports.
UPDATE: I mean don’t develop an interest in watersports. That is wrong. This religion lark is so confusing!
UPDATE 2: A further thought strikes me. If you live at the top of a thrusting, cock-like hill or mountain, you are immune from flooding. Yet if you live in a more heterosexually inclined, vagina-shaped flood plain, God Punishes You. Maybe He’s telling us we ought to be more gay, not less? I wonder if the finest Anglican theological minds have looked into this?