Tag Archives: chocolate

Completely Nuts

I’m confused about this latest ad ban. Which character is meant to be gay? The one who is walking peculiarly, or the one wearing lots of gold jewelry, referring to pride in the “man race” and chomping down hard on phallic shaped object demanding that we “get some nuts”?

If this ad is meant to represent the ultimate hetero bashing a homo, I’m Mad Murdoch.

Save Our Bubbly

Given the success of the Bring Back Wispa campaign, I am perplexed as to why my Save Dairy Milk Bubbly campaign has thus far failed to elicit much support. Surely the time is ripe for a nostalgia campaign, now that it is on its way out? Given how excitable people get, I’m surprised no-one (apart from me, obviously) has started bemoaning how our 21st century traditions are under threat.

Dairy Milk Bubbly has one thing over the Wispa – ridges. It’s a sure sign of progress. Frankly, I’m amazed that Richard Dawkins hasn’t already started charging from the barricades. Plus, I’m sure a Scot must have been involved in the decision somewhere down the line (a Welsh woman has already been outed) – how come the English Nats aren’t up in arms?

Foxwit

You’ve got to be pretty bloody barking to be able to make Jack Straw look like a liberal by comparison. Fortunately however, we have Tory MPs Julian Lewis and Liam Fox. This pair of halfwits are calling for the BBC to be bitchslapped over their decision to broadcast an interview with a Taliban leader.

I watched that interview. It was part of a piece that was very sympathetic to the British troops in Helmand province. It illustrated only too well of the sort of people they are up against. How Lewis and Fox thought this equated to broadcasting terrorist propaganda is anyone’s guess.

It brings back memories of the 1980s when the Tories banned Sinn Fein’s voices from being broadcast, leading to all the news agencies broadcasting footage of Gerry Adams and co with their voices dubbed by actors. Utter moronic, and illiberal, stupidity.

This isn’t just some dinosaur backbencher spouting off. This is Cameron’s hand-picked defence spokesperson. This is what Cameronian Conservativism is all about: be nice to gays (although not that nice), but ban freedom of the press. And chocolate oranges of course.

Would flat taxes help the poor?

That an article has appeared in the Daily Mail today claiming that flat taxes would help the poor should come as no surprise. That it is based on a piece of original research by the Joseph Rowntree Foundation however ought to raise at least the odd eyebrow.

In fact, man-bites-dog spin from the JRF notwithstanding, the flat tax is only half the story. What the JRF are also proposing is the creation of a negative income tax system to replace the extremely complicated existing system of tax credits. That sounds more like the bunch of Quakers we know.

Personally, of course, I would go further: most countries worldwide that have flat income tax rates also have significantly higher property taxes. By introducing these (LVT to be specific) at the same time you could significantly reduce the base income tax rate while capturing more wealth from the better off in a more economically efficient manner. But I’m repeating myself.

My chocolatey press release shame

Disappointed by the distinct lack of punnage in Chris Huhne’s press release about Cadbury’s today. Okay, there is “melting away” but that is obvious.

It does remind me of a press release I wrote for one of his erstwhile European colleagues a few years ago though:

“Yesterday’s news will be a boost for Cadbury’s workers in Bournville and Marlbrook.”

“Too many countries in the EU continue to pursue protectionist policies wrapped in jargon about consumer rights. This case proves the system works. However, like France’s illegal ban on British beef it has gone on for far too long. The EU Parliament and Council came to an agreement on this issue two years ago, slightly fudging the issue by allowing British-style chocolate to be sold across Europe as ‘family milk chocolate’. Yet Italy and Spain have been free to defy this knowing it would be years while the case was dragged through the courts.

“We need a system that allows the Commission to implement EU rules and regulations without going down the curly-wurly route of the Court of Justice. Without this reform, the EU‘s ability to implement its own laws will continue to look distinctly flakey.”

Look upon my works ye mighty, and despair!