Daily Archives: 16 August 2007

Gideonics

Jonathan Calder points us to a fascinatingly revealing quote from Gideon Osborne:

“Of course we want a very dynamic and successful City of London. But Britain cannot just be the City of London and then 50-odd million people living off the back of those who work in financial services.”

This line has clearly been carefully crafted to simultaneously look like a genuine concern for the poor, while making it absolutely clear to the city that the Tories not only are not having a go at it, but consider it to be the main source of wealth. According to this rubric, a speculator who has been profiteering on the selling on of financial products based on unsecured loans to the poorest in society is creating wealth, while someone who works a 48 hour week in a factory (longer, if Gideon and John Redwood have anything to do with it) is a parasite. The conclusion is that the rich City stoke broker must pay less tax while the “recipient” (i.e. everyone else) should be prepared to make up the shortfall.

This really is the world turned upside down. I’m looking forward to the Jock Coats response.

Ah! That delicate frisson of A-level result lesbionics!

I’ve just realised that its taken me until 4pm on A-level results day before seeing my first A-level result blonde (on the front cover of the Evening Standard).

A quick skip around the news websites:

  • The BBC has four multi-ethnic girls jumping for joy. Only one of them, however, might be blonde (hard to tell). Cliche rating: 4/5.
  • The Times opts for a classic: two cute blondes. Shame they aren’t hugging, but you can’t have everything. As an afterthought it gives you an alternative picture of some boys, but in case your heterosexuality is challenged by this, click again and you find a picture of a cute girl running, wearing a t-shirt that highlights her breasts. Cliche rating: 5/5.
  • The Telegraph keeps it simple: blondes; hugging; smiles; waving paper. For England and St George! Cliche rating: 5/5.
  • The Guardian relies on the same levitating multi-ethnic girls as the BBC, and then only temporarily on the front page. It’ll probably be gone by the time you read this. Bloody commies. I bet that girl in the headscarf has got an A-level in bomb-making. Or something. Cliche rating: 4/5.
  • The Independent have two girls looking pensively at their results. There isn’t even the merest hint that they may have snogged once (on the other hand, that may be why they look so uncomfortable). Weird. At least they’re girls. Cliche rating: 3/5.
  • The Sun: Mickey Mouse breasts girl again. Cliche rating: 4/5.
  • The Mirror: a black girl. Hard to say if she’s laughing or crying. She doesn’t even have highlights. Cliche rating: 3/5.
  • The Daily Mail has a picture of boys! Disgusting! Paul Dacre is a national disgrace! Children will be corrupted. Cliche rating: 2/5.
  • Fortunately, the Daily Express saves the day with Mickey Mouse breasts (again!) AND… wait for it… TWINS! HUGGING! Result!!! Cliche rating: 5/5.

They really ought to officially designate today as Groundhog Day. Here’s to doing it all again in twelve months time.